February is a month to reflect on, appreciate, and increase our awareness of many different things here in the U.S. Chief among them being Black History Month. But as a couples therapist, I write to you today to bring awareness of the expectations that many couples put on themselves or their partner as Valentine’s Day approaches.
Novelist Elizabeth Bowen famously wrote, “When you love someone, all your saved-up wishes start coming out.” When we’re in emotionally safe relationships we feel safe enough to express our needs and wants. But this doesn’t necessarily mean we’ve communicated our preferences and expectations to our partner in a way where they really “get it”. And perhaps this is why many couples get into disagreements around Valentine’s Day.
Robin S. Smith is a psychotherapist practicing in Bethesda, MD. Robin started Your Couples Therapist Blog to provide useful articles on issues related to mental health as well as articles on local, national, and international news stories. Learn more about Robin on the About Page.